But where did all my friends go?!

This crazy thing happens when you have a baby. You're friends start to disappear.

Before getting pregnant I had countless people I could call or text last minute and they would be right over to hang out. Now I have only a handful of good friends. It's not like I had a big falling out with any of them, it's just when you are about to bring a new life into the world, you suddenly have next to nothing in common with your old friends.

At first it was really hard to get used to the sense of loneliness I felt once my friends had dwindled to being able to count them on just a few fingers, but then I realized something: though I may not have as many friends as I used to, the quality of the friends I do have is absolutely amazing. The friends I do have are willing to drop almost anything they're doing if Nick, Peyton or I need something.

The first couple weeks after I had Peyton people were constantly in and out of our house. Everybody wanted to meet her. I was so grateful that I was surrounded by so much love. People would stop in just because they wanted to see how Peyton and I were doing. But this crazy thing happened once she turned about 2 months old: nobody came by. My phone went silent. The awe of the new baby had worn off. It's like when a kid gets a new puppy. The first couple days and weeks they are so excited because it's new, and it's cute. But then the reality starts to set in. I have to take care of this thing? You want me to clean it's poop? You can't make it be quiet?!

Okay, maybe that's a little too far. I never expected anyone to clean her poop. But I had "friends" who would call me and ask to hang out. Which was awesome because I needed adult contact. But they would act shocked when they realized that would mean my baby would have to come with me. It was like they expected me to just pawn my child off on someone else. Like she was a little toy I could just smile and take selfies with, then pass off to her grandparents and go about my business like before I had her. Let's face it, nobody really wants to be those people in the restaurant or movie theater with the screaming child.

But you want to know something amazing? My true friends didn't care. They understood that there might be times when I had to leave because baby was just too fussy. They understood that if we went to the movies with the baby, that there was a very good chance I would have to take her out into the lobby with me half way through the movie because she got restless. They understood that there is no way I could give them 100% of my attention when we were out to dinner because I had to focus on making sure my daughter didn't throw half her dinner on the floor or pick up the steak knife.

So to these friends, I say thank you. Thank you for playing a part in my daughter's life. Thank you for being an example to her of how true friendship should be. Thank you for being willing to trade in going out to see the latest Captain America movie to having a Frozen sing along night where we have to listen the song "Let It Go" on repeat because that's all that Peyton wants to listen to. Thank you for being patient when she want to "play" games with us, and actually ends up dumping our game board/cards on the floor. Thank you for loving her like she is a part of your family.

"What did you even do today?"

             I've been wanting to do this blog post for a while now, but I have had a teething toddler who popped two new teeth and is getting in another set molars so I've basically been wanting to throw myself off a bridge the last two weeks. Jk. Kind of.

             Before I get into this actual post, I want to start by saying how completely appalled I am by the way stay at home moms and working moms act towards each other. I mean seriously. I was looking up those little e-card things to add into this for a little humor, and some of them were just plain RUDE. I've been a stay at home mom for 95% of the time that Peyton has been alive. I worked a temporary part-time job for a total of 12 weeks over the summer then fall, but couldn't go back for the spring because of scheduling conflicts with Nick's job. (Basically I didn't want to be working solely to be able to afford the money it would cost to put Peyton in child care just so I could work). I'm not saying one is easier than the other. I feel blessed that we are in a situation where I am able to stay home and take care of the baby. And it is by no means easy (but I will be getting into that in a moment...). At the same time I don't believe it is right in any way shape or form for one mother to put down another mother because she chooses/has to work or stay home.  Being a parent is hard enough without having to worry about other parents judging you. But that's just my 2 cents.

some examples of the rudeness.

             There are some days when Nick will get home from work and ask me, "so babe what did you do today?" And I will just stare at him with a blank look on my face. I feel like I did a lot. I'm exhausted. But I honestly could not name off on single thing that I actually did during the day. It's like my mind just blanked. Completely. That's what being a stay at home mom is like.

             I like to joke with Nick and tell him "You either get an amazing mom, or a good wife. You can't have both in the same day." And he knows which one he gets the second he walks through the door. If he walks in and baby is laughing or quiet, chances are the house is a wreck. Because we probably had a dance party. Or played the drums with pots and pans. Or we finger painted/colored. Or we took a walk around the block. Or we just watched movies and are both still in our pajamas. The list goes on and on, because on these days I am an amazing mom.

             But if he comes home to a clean house, chances are that baby is crying and mommy will be rocking back and forth in the corner about to pull her hair out. That's how these last couple weeks with teething have been. I love her dearly, and I know it's not her fault that she's in pain and upset, but once you're 6 days in to teething were your child has screamed a minimum of 5 hours a day, on top of waking up every 45-90 minutes screaming every night, you understand the need for hashtags like "#mommyneedsadrank".

             I feel like people who aren't parents just assume that being a stay at home mom is easy. But believe me, it's not. And it's not that being a stay home is an excessively physically demanding job, but it is an extremely emotionally demanding one. I can go a week at a time without leaving the house. Besides little breaks when I have photo sessions (which have been sparing since the first of the year, so you kind people need to change that ;)), I am with the baby 24-7. If I want to go out, I essentially have to move mountains. First I have to make sure I have a car since my husband and I share one, or bum a ride. And then I have to make sure I remember to take the car seat out of the car if I have to catch a ride. And then if I want to go out without the baby, I have to find a baby sitter (and to be honest the thought of leaving her with somebody other than her grandparents gives me super bad anxiety). And yes, we do live with my in-laws currently who are genuinely more than happy to watch the baby whenever they can, I don't like pawning her off. But, I digress.

              The best way to keep a baby happy during the day, is for you to be happy (or at least pretend to be). If you're upset, baby can sense it and they will be upset too. This is where a lot of the emotional strain comes in.

             Then you constantly wonder if you're doing everything right. What should I make the baby for lunch? I could do hot dogs. But she's already had hot dogs twice this week. But if I actually cook cook then I'll have more dishes to clean... Is eating this many hot dogs going to make her sick?! I should really make sure she eats more fruits and vegetables. She eats at least one apple a day though, so that's okay, right? And I'm pretty sure she ate some green beans at dinner last night. I think. She's already had two sippys of juice today. Maybe I should give her some plain water. Or should I give her milk?! The doctor said she's only suppose to have two servings of milk a day, so if I give her some now I can't give her any at bed time. Oh god. I think her sippy of milk from last night is still in her crib! I hope she hasn't drank it! I would know if she had, right?! I hope she doesn't get sick! Which reminds me, I need to call the doctor and make an appointment about her rash... and so on and so on.

             I'm probably going to write a part two to this post eventually, but currently I am suffering from mommy and cannot remember what else I had intended to write in this...........

So The End.

(for now)

I seriously died laughing when I saw this lol.