"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."

51%-49%

If you've ever been around Nick or I when any sort of decision has to be made, chances are you've with heard me say, "51-49! You have to choose!" or you've heard Nick say, "51-49, I say you have to choose!" It's really a matter of who can spit it out faster. Our little "joke" actually has to do with a very serious part of our marriage. What I'm about to say is not a very popular opinion in today's society. A lot of people, women in particular, do not agree with what I'm about to say.

Marriage should not be equal.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Marriage is not made to be 50-50. I don't care if it is a gay or straight marriage. If you marriage is "equal" you are not going to be able to make any important decisions. Say your husband gets a new job opportunity, but for it you and your kids are going to have across the country away from all your family and friends to somewhere where you know absolutely nobody. He wants to go. You don't. If your marriage is 50-50, how do you decide?

Wedding Pictures by: Kimberly Naugle Photography

Ultimately, Nick is the decision maker in our home. If he says no, the answer is no. That is not to say that he controls me in any way shape or form. He does not have the right to tell me how to cut my hair, how to dress, what color to do my eye shadow, etc. He does not get to control all my movements during the day.

So what does he control? He has the final say in how we spend/save/invest our money. Right now I am fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom while he is out working his butt off to support us. He has the final say in how we parent our daughter and future children. Granted, I make most of the day-to-day decisions seeing as I am the one home with her, but he makes the final decisions about how we discipline her. And once she gets older and ready for go to school, he will have the final say in what activities she can/cannot do. 

Most importantly, he is the head of our family's spiritual welfare. He is the one who keeps us on track and walking the right path with God. (We are currently looking for a new church family if anyone would like to give us suggestions!).

Now majority of the time Nick does let me make most of the decisions. Like what we're going to have for dinner. What baby is going to wear. What movie we're going to see. All the little stuff. But all the major important stuff ultimately comes down to his decision. If daddy says no, it's not happening. And sometimes it's difficult and frustrating, but I have to trust that he's making the right decision for our family. I may not be able to see his reasoning in the moment, but I know eventually I will.

If you can't trust the man you're with to make the hard decisions that have to be made, you don't need to be with him.